Survivor -70

On Aug 2nd, I turn 70! 

In October 2008 I received my first Cancer Diagnosis. It was Male Breast Cancer. I was 54!

In April 2010 I received my second Cancer Diagnosis. It was Prostate Cancer. I was 56! Both of my cancers were caused by the BRCA2 mutation. 

When I was 54 and again at 56, I prayed to see my 60th or 65th Birthday. 70 wasn’t even in play yet.

A cancer diagnosis causes so many different emotions to flow to the top of your mind. How long do I have? What will my family do if I pass? Will my wife find another guy? Will anyone really miss me? If my boys have their own kids, will those grandchildren ever know anything about me? Will I ever see the Eagles win a Super Bowl? (Phew, one question answered!)

Growing up in Philadelphia in the 60’s, we didn’t know much about genetics or even medical advancements.  Honestly, most of us didn't care.

 I did actually wonder about how my parents picked my name.  It’s not like Harvey Irwin was a “regular” name. When I questioned my folks, I was told that being Jewish, I was named after my mom’s two brothers. Both Herman and Isadore passed away from cancer at very young ages. (Hence the “Harvey I” in my name)

Great! I am named after two guys that died early from cancer. My fate is sealed. I am going to get cancer and die young. This wasn’t a logical thought process for a nine year old, but it was MY thought process! 

Genetics wasn’t part of the equation at this time in my life. It was a bad presumption, one I internalized and carried with me for the next 35 years. It never left me. Every symptom, lump, headache, stomach issue, etc., caused me to think the worst.

When I turned 50, it became suppressed. Hell, I made it way past my two uncles. I’m in the clear. A year later my sister and Co Founder of HIS Breast Cancer Awareness was diagnosed with her third breast cancer. After two prior diagnoses, she underwent genetic testing that showed she carries the BRCA2 mutation. She let me know that I too, could be carrying this and I should be aware. 

Instead of it sounding an alarm for the kid that carried a 50 year presumptuous bad fate, it actually took the polar opposite effect. It was breast cancer. Certainly being a guy, that’s not something I have to be concerned about. You can see how your mind can talk you into some bad things and totally block out others.

When I was diagnosed a few years later, I returned to all the negative thoughts of cancer determining my mortality and how long I would have left?

Many people have discussed how having a positive mental outlook, post diagnosis and during treatment can actually help “cure” your cancer and minimize side effects from treatment. I am not one of those people. Yes, it can help you “handle” all the crap that’s thrown your way, but it doesn’t really change the clinical part of the equation. Prayer also helps in this way and believe me, I’ve done my share of praying.

I prayed that I would see 60, 65 and now I’m 70! Many of my closest friends also turned 70 this year. Everyone looked at it differently. I listened and heard all of them. “Fourth Quarter”. “No big deal, just a number”. “ I can't believe I’m 70”. “ Hope I can stick around long enough to see my grandkids graduate or get married”. This number(70) caused most of them to look at life and their mortality in so many different ways.

It’s different for me. I’ve been thinking of mortality since I was 10 years old. I was really contemplating it when I was diagnosed at 54 and again at 56.

 So now as I turn 70, I will continue to screen and be aware of any changes in my health. I continue to work full time. I have been working hard on my physical health by hitting the gym to strength train, two to three times per week. I walk two to three miles, at least five times per week. I play and practice golf every week. I watch what I eat and keep my weight at a constant 174-177 pounds. I believe I am in the best shape since I was 30. I take it all head on, but with the reality of my circumstances. 

 But to turn 70…?

 It’s really “JUST A NUMBER”!

A number that I’m really thankful to be around to see.

Live and Enjoy every day and every birthday.

Harvey I Singer